Densest Element Named

The Densest Element: Oblivium.

Oblivium is the densest naturally occurring element, with a density of 72.95 g/cm3 at the head end. It is always a solid, is considered “thick” in nature, and is not malleable except by the best and most persistent teachers. It is highly susceptible to the laws of Darwin.

Despite its high atomic number, Oblivium is very common in nature, especially at parties where drugs or alcohol is provided. (Oblivium easily dissolves in alcohol, and has a high affinity for many drugs.)

Oblivium has a natural affinity for political positions, as well as school administration. Contrary to popular belief, Oblivium is not always white, as it comes in a variety of shades.

It is considered a pollutant, and has few practical uses.


Comments and Nav are Below.

Randy Cassingham is best known as the creator of This is True, the oldest entertainment feature on the Internet: it has been running weekly by email subscription since early 1994. It is social commentary using weird news as its vehicle so it’s fun to read. Click here for a subscribe form — basic subscriptions are free.

Jump to Random Meme