For just $2,500, we’ll send two “police officers” to your home on February 13 to “arrest” you in front of your wife and children. You will be “released” on the morning of February 15.
This special package price is fully inclusive: camping fees, fishing gear and license, tent with deluxe cot, all-you-can-eat gourmet pork BBQ, and beer. For just $250 more, you can add a ride home in the squad car with apologies from the officers to your wife for the “false arrest.”
Sorry, this was sold out within an hour of announcement. Reserve early for next year! (Meanwhile, romantics will have to be content with last year’s more sappy Valentine’s meme.)
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Randy Cassingham is best known as the creator of This is True, the oldest entertainment feature on the Internet: it has been running weekly by email subscription since early 1994. It is social commentary using weird news as its vehicle so it’s fun to read. Click here for a subscribe form — basic subscriptions are free.
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