UPS: “Tawnya has your package on her truck. She’s one mile away and has two packages to deliver before yours. She will arrive in 7-10 minutes.”
FedEx: “Your package is between Nashville and you and scheduled to be there soon.”
USPS: “There’s a package? We don’t see any scans.”
Amazon: “Hey, you got a new couch for your living room! And, um, you didn’t get it from us….”
Our local UPS driver is, in fact, Tawnya. She takes great care of us.
(Yeah, one of my sidelines is Get Out of Hell Free® cards. Tawnya delivers them from the printer.)
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Randy Cassingham is best known as the creator of This is True, the oldest entertainment feature on the Internet: it has been running weekly by email subscription since early 1994. It is social commentary using weird news as its vehicle so it’s fun to read. Click here for a subscribe form — basic subscriptions are free.
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