You Know It’s Gonna Happen

Sometime in 2023 or so:
“Were you or a loved one exposed to cleansing wipes, Lysol spray, nitrile gloves, hand sanitizer, or face masks during the recent world-wide coronavirus pandemic?
If so, you may be eligible for compensation!
Call 1-800-PARASITES now for a free evaluation.

Operators are standing by. A licensed attorney will assist you in joining the class action. Monetary reward is not guaranteed (except for us).

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Randy Cassingham is best known as the creator of This is True, the oldest entertainment feature on the Internet: it has been running weekly by email subscription since early 1994. It is social commentary using weird news as its vehicle so it’s fun to read. Click here for a subscribe form — basic subscriptions are free.