(Not So) New Epidemic

“Hi. My name is Alicia and I will be selling Apple Pies from 2pm-6pm for only $5.
If you would like one, please call me at 999-999-9999.”
People on Social Media:
1. Ohemmgeeee I want one how much are they?!
2. Hi, I would like a pie. What kind are you selling?
3. I just sent you a message. Could you please send me the info on how to get a pie?
4. Yassss! I love pies! How can I order one?
5. Hello. I’ve sent several emails and no one will email me back. I really want a pie.
6. What’s the latest I can get a pie? I need to know the cutoff time.

Is it that society has the attention span of a gnat, or that people truly can’t actually see what’s right in front of them thanks to flashing ads and other demands for attention?


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Randy Cassingham is best known as the creator of This is True, the oldest entertainment feature on the Internet: it has been running weekly by email subscription since early 1994. It is social commentary using weird news as its vehicle so it’s fun to read. Click here for a subscribe form — basic subscriptions are free.

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