I Otta Belt You
Yes, I know it’s an illustration, not a real photo: extra points if you know why that’s obvious! Also, if you don’t get it, 1) Shame on you! and 2) Read this right now.
Funny
Battery Low
And if you don’t get up to deal with it, you’re not getting back to sleep no matter what.
It Only Goes So Far
Day 2: start with the Oreos and ice cream, and see how it goes the rest of the day.
A Strange Compulsion
And the hare, because it chews the cud but does not part the hoof, is unclean to you. —Leviticus 11:5
Irish Invention
I came up with this as my wife (who is of Irish descent) was going to sleep Saturday night — and of course I told it to her as I turned out the light!
Cure What Ails You
Mmmmmmmmm… bacon! Another four slices couldn’t really hurt, could it? Pass the plate!
Listen Carefully
Yes, dear. Yes, dear. Yes, dear. Uh huh. Yes, dear. Absolutely. Yes, dear. Yes, dear. Wait… what?
Alone in My Hideout
And if it’s OK, I’ll leave the door chain on — can you push them through the crack?
According to Science
This winter, Seattle was slammed with record-breaking snow — and now we know why!
A Modern Stone Age Family
The Great Gazoo from planet Zetox, pictured to the left, was voiced by Harvey Korman, later to become famous on The Carol Burnett Show and Blazing Saddles.