Sounds of Contentment
Especially when you get it on the first try. The simple things in life are so often the best.
Funny
In the Wild
Pretty much every parent in the world can instantly relate to this.
“How Can I Reach You?”
Note: If you call by phone, don’t leave a voicemail since it’s unlikely I’ll ever call you back: after all, I didn’t answer, did I? Start over with #1.
Don’t Call Me
“A hospital? What is it?” “It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.”
What Are the Odds?
Not that I expect ticket sales to go down — but stop with phone fiddling while driving!
Pajama Game
As for me, my suit and ties have gathered a lot of dust just hanging there all these years.
Choosy Mothers
Even if vaccines did cause autism (and they don’t!), they’d still be worth it: the odds of severe disability or death are much higher than the fake risk.
Just So You Know
It will be a struggle that I will have to bear. Please carry on without me. (If you didn’t already know, my primary presence on Facebook is here.)
For Your Health
Barista! Hit me again!
Just Not Fair
That’s the problem with this country: double standards! They demand I “go get a job,” but the babies? They want them to sleep all day!