Fountain of Youth
My favorite: Sobieski Espresso vodka (Poland, made from rye — but discontinued, the bastards!) with Stirrings Espresso liqueur (USA, also discontinued).
Funny
The Last Laugh
Actually, I’m not all that competitive — and I’m always the first to admit it.
Never Odd or Even
It’s so scary that I jumped into my racecar.
Situational Awareness
Buddies have sometimes taken a police car, but they not only didn’t get home, it was a lot more expensive.
The Boss
You do, of course, remember when I first applied for the job.
And That’s Before Sharing
These numbers will rise substantially when someone’s light bulb burns out, so they share it again to complain no one has changed it for them yet.
Together at Last
I’ll bet that’s where my car keys are too.
Totally Appropriate
It also teaches children another important truth: the wrong words at the wrong time can lead to someone’s death.
Vermont Pure
I mean really: did they even hire an actual designer?!
Consolation
Or should that be Monday the whatevernd? Well, happy Triskaidekaphobia Day.