What Are the Odds?
Not that I expect ticket sales to go down — but stop with phone fiddling while driving!
Funny
Pajama Game
As for me, my suit and ties have gathered a lot of dust just hanging there all these years.
Choosy Mothers
Even if vaccines did cause autism (and they don’t!), they’d still be worth it: the odds of severe disability or death are much higher than the fake risk.
Just So You Know
It will be a struggle that I will have to bear. Please carry on without me. (If you didn’t already know, my primary presence on Facebook is here.)
For Your Health
Barista! Hit me again!
Just Not Fair
That’s the problem with this country: double standards! They demand I “go get a job,” but the babies? They want them to sleep all day!
No Trespassing
No, don’t come visit. I need the driveway clear because I’m expecting a package from Amazon …every day.
By Men, for Men
Sorry, this was sold out within an hour of announcement. Reserve early for next year! (Meanwhile, romantics will have to be content with last year’s more sappy Valentine’s meme.)
Ya Gotta Believe
I’ve seen it attributed to Kurt Vonnegut. Supposedly the full context is….
Accurate Definition
But the adults typically don’t pay the teens anywhere near enough.